Suddenly, Baba did not feel well today. Yesterday, on the 15th of June, because he came to the field very wet, today Baba has a fever and is also coughing. I am the eldest son of the house, all the responsibilities are on my shoulders. I am the remainder after my father. The older sister got married and got married. A family of three, father, mother and me. Father is the only earner in the house. I am currently studying in 7th standard and my mother has to take care of me, cook at home and take care of things. Our kitchen wouldn't work without my father.

It has been a week now that my father was ill. But the fever was not twenty-nineteen. It's not that I didn't take medicine, the doctor, even though I looked everywhere, I didn't get sick. I used to go to school in the morning because my studies were going on. He used to come home only in the evening. My mother was taking care of my father throughout the day.

Days passed, father's illness also lessened. Now the father does small chores around the house. He helps his mother. After I return from school, my father prepares lunch, my mother gives grass and water to my sister. And we all eat lunch together. This is my daily routine. Father, mother dreams of teaching me a lot. And whenever I say I will make your dreams come true.

My final exam of class 12 is also over. It's been a few months now. We decided to go for a walk. It was agreed that Mankamana would go according to everyone's advice. After buying the bus ticket in the morning, we went to Mankamana Darshan. After about 7 hours of bus journey, we reached the temple. Absolutely beautiful temple, green place, after visiting the whole temple, a photo was taken and we returned home after having dinner.

Exactly 3 months later, Dasai came. People from all over the village came on Dasain. New people, new clothes really brought joy. We went to uncle's house, relative's place to make Tika on Dasain. Soon after that came Tihar. I put on Tika from my sister's hand. Tihar was not fun at all. Even when I remember it now, I feel like laughing alone. I didn't realize the time had passed. My studies were also going on. I started studying science after 12th standard. Now I give a lot of time to study.

One day, I was returning home from school. Many people were gathered in the house. I rushed home. There my father was sitting on the bed. Father suddenly fell down with a seizure. It's fine now. Once he took his father to the hospital on the advice of everyone. Again, the same old behavior is repeated. Fever and asthma are also observed. Now, the doctor has told the father to rest at home. Dad always sits on the floor coughing. The mother is also very weak due to the worry of the father. The mother is unable to take care of the father alone. My needs started showing up at home. There was no possibility of studying at home early in the morning. I had to read anyway.

I don't go to school now. Sometimes I go, I come back soon. This has become my daily routine. Worrying about family, worry about your future, sometimes you want to cry.

As I cry, I remember what my mother said when I was little. Do you cry as a son? Do you have to shed tears like a girl? How to find these things? I could not understand. Where is the truth that people do not cry? I have come to know how many times Baba hides his head in vinegar and cries. The father is also shedding tears now because of his family's worries and his own worries. I want to ask my mother once again, mother, son, people never cry, right?

My society that can't even cry. Today, I don't feel sleepy. The night is late. Those things heard before are now proving to be true. Screaming and crying. If the father's illness would be cured, the village community would cry unheard. Where people say they never cry in life. They say their hearts are hard. He used to cry in front of everyone when his father's illness was cured. I have that courage.

The problem did not go away. Now the father is in the last stage of his life. Relatives have come to meet him. Father is unable to speak. There is a lot of concern now. Mother's heart is not heavy at all. But I showed the behavior of others in front of everyone.

Father Annatat left this earth. I couldn't think of anything. I remember those hands that guided me in my childhood and taught me what to do. Today is the thirteenth day. After completing all the work, he sat down in the generation. Mother is also with her. The worry of running the household now came to the shoulders. Now go to study or work? Had to choose an option.

When you come home in the afternoon after working in the fields, the photo of Mankamana hanging on the door makes your heart chill. My mother is on the right and I am in the middle, my father is on the side. As always, he slowly touched the photo with his hand. I wanted to cry until I got rid of the hiccups. But I was patient. My mother always watches these habits of mine. He doesn't say anything. It seems that he does not have the patience to remind. Yes, this is how life is going now.

I avoided all the joys and sorrows of home. Study is over. Zenten completed his studies. Now I work in a small shoe factory. I was studying science, but because of the home environment, I am working in a shoe store.  Mother works at home. Now it has been 5 years since my father passed away. Father always comes in dreams. And inspires to work without fear. I used to see in my dreams the things that brought us here after suffering a lot of pain and suffering. Sometimes he cries when he tells his mother what happened in his dream. I wake up in the morning and give water as my mother told me.